Eddy’s Edification

Alright, well, I do have a story. It is something that I had been writing with my good friend Kipp (Kippar, Kipparpoo, The Captain). It has been a while since I have looked at this, but these are characters very close to my heart. Eddy, a very sour, serious person, and Percy, light and lively.

Any credit for these characters and this story belong to myself and Kipp equally. It is a slow, dream project for us, but something that I need to become more disciplined with. Alright, here it is! The first chapter in my little story of the travels of these two, entitled “Eddy’s Edification”:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Break-up to seperate story from intro~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddy’s Edification

“So you know me, right?”

It was cold, and we were standing outside work talking late at night.  Working with him for six months, and being so cold, the question seemed a little ridiculous and I answered yes, in the flattest and most unfriendly way I could.

“What would you think of me if I were to tell you that I was an assassin.”

“Are you an assassin?”


“Then why ask the question?” I asked very rightfully.

“Just wondering.  Sometimes I wonder what people would think of me if I just came out with something crazy like that.  You know, like if I were a vigilante, fighting outside of the law for justice, but hunted by the powers that be…”

I looked straight forward, trying not to react or make eye contact.  The rain kept pounding down and I wished, like I hadn’t since I was a kid, that the bus would come as soon as possible.  Grilling burgers all day doesn’t really allow one to enjoy conversations with the strange and unerringly infuriating co-workers one has to deal with in the fast food service industry.

“With a super-secret dark past, of course…”

How freakin’ ridiculous was that?  At this point, I was almost ready to start running in the opposite direction after showing him the extension power of a very particular finger.  There was no cause, I thought to myself, for his existence!  To me, he was someone that should wear a sign, making sure that all those that came near him would know to avoid at all costs!

“You know who you remind me of?”

“Who?”  I said expecting the same kind of random idiocy that had been pulsing through the conversation so far.

“The Melancholy Dane…yeah, you remind me of him.”

“What?”   I mean to say, what the F…

“You know, Hamlet.”

“Yeah, I know.”  I said looking up at him as if he had suddenly transformed, miraculously, his uniform into a tweed jacket with leather elbow covers.  Where did he come up with Hamlet?  Did he watch the freaking Mel Gibson movie?

“I don’t know why, really, but you just do.  Maybe it’s the face, or the fact that you’re always locked inside your head, almost completely oblivious to anything and anyone…I dunno.”

“Hey.  Did I do something to you to deserve this?  The unflattering comparison to the Melancholy Dane aside, I’m just trying to get home without having to be…”

“Do you Soliloquize?  Soliloquate?  What’s the level of your Soliloquacity?”

Against all that I was feeling, against the fists that I wanted to hurl at him, I laughed.  This kid, was actually funny.  And, for whatever his normal conversational impression, he was actually an intelligent person.  Well, at least he knew two things from Shakespeare.

“Maybe internal Soliloquization.  I think that would be what you do.  Every day, in your head, you’re having your own little Soliloquies…”

“Okay, would you stop butchering that word?”

“I’m not butchering…I’m versitalizing.”

“You’re insane.”

“And you’re a bastard.”


The bravado and his way with saying horrible things with the most sincere smile was enough to take a horrible insult as a great joke!  His words didn’t seem malicious at all.  He seemed a toddler swearing at the moment.  You know that it isn’t right, but you chuckle and know that they don’t really mean anything malicious.

“It isn’t really hard to figure you out, you know.  Always in your head.  You really, and truly, think that you’re better than everybody else.”

“I don’t.  I’m just…”

“A bastard.” His smile widened as he said this: stated, like it was a fact.

“Harsh words from someone who is calling another human being a bastard.”

“Whoa, he has awareness of others as people too!  But still, you’re only a bastard.”

“Repetition is sort of your thing isn’t it?”

“Is it?”

I flashed back to his question from the beginning-So you know me, right?-and I realized that I didn’t.  There was very little I did know about him, though he was an active participant in the continuous and lively conversations that whirled around me every day.

“It would seem that you’ve got some serious trouble getting out of your head, and that often means that you value what is in your head more than what is going on around that gigantic thing…You know, when you’re not paying attention, you’ll sneer at us.”

“I do?”

He shrugged.  “You’re a bastard.”

“So I’ve been told.”

He seemed to be elated, puffed up, at having won this little exchange.  I hadn’t known that there was a competition, but somehow, I knew instinctively that he had won and I had lost.

“Percy, by the way.  Now, I know, it’s been on my nametag for months, but I figured, ‘Hey, this kid might be the kind that doesn’t learn well by reading…one word…for six months…’ so that’s for your information.”

The widest grin I had ever seen was set upon his face.  He pulled his hood up over his head, clasped his hands in front of him and looked out into the street.  Satisfaction was written large there.  My frustration had made his night.  I could not remember being that happy in my life.

“So, where are you going?” I asked, trying not to sound sullen and defeated.

“Um, home.  Where else would one go?  It’s 2AM!”  He seemed incredulous, almost wondering if I came from a different planet.  I was out of touch.  To me, people were mysteries that I had let stay that way, outside my own questions and my little inquiries.

“Yeah, that’s right.  I was just wondering what you did, you know, kinda who you were.”

“That takes a lot to know…for now, the interest is enough…”

That smile had returned to his face and we waited as the bus came down the street.  I chuckled to myself.  This kid was smarter than he looked, but he didn’t have to flaunt it.  He was just having some fun.  It was alien, but interesting.


3 thoughts on “Eddy’s Edification

  1. Hi Sheridan! Great start and set up for what’s coming next. Only one comment.. The sentence where you introduce yourself…. ‘doesn’t learn well be reading’. Probably a typo, but I’m not sure how you meant to write it. Keep writing! Denise

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